How To Contact Your Ex After No Contact

Now that you have successfully made it through the difficult 30 days of no contact, it’s time to start talking again. The first few times might seem a little awkward, but keep in mind they should be casual and friendly. You want to show that you are happy in your life now and not make it obvious you are trying to get them back together. Just calling and inviting them over is not going to go over well, and will make the last 30 days pointless. Instead, follow these tips for communicating after the no contact phase of your breakup.

slow laneStart Slowly and Casually

There are multiple reasons why you should be casual and friendly when first contacting them, instead of going straight into the heavy stuff. First of all, you want to be happy and optimistic because this good mood shows you have been doing well and are not trying to look desperate and get them back. Starting slow and being casual because it doesn’t scare them off and make them feel threatened or like they are being forced back into a relationship. Never bring up serious topics or the reason you broke up when you start contacting them again.

Be Nostalgic

A good way to start talking again is by being nostalgic. If you are at a restaurant you used to enjoy, tag him or her in your Facebook status update to remind them of a time when you used to go there. If you want to send a text message, text about a memory, like the first movie you saw together or sharing an inside joke. These bring up positive memories the two of you shared and get the conversation going. 


Suggest Things They Enjoy

couple having funAnother way to first get into contact with them is to talk about things you know they enjoy. Mention a movie, concert, or even that is coming up. Don’t come out and ask them to it if this is one of your first methods of contact after breaking up, but just talk about it casually, as a way to show you paid attention to their interests. It may or may not lead to spending time with that at the event, but it still works effectively either way.

Rules for Communicating

If you choose the phone for communicating with them the first time, there are some rules to follow. First of all, don’t bring up serious conversations. Never talk about why you broke up or ask about who they have been dating. These are big red flags to your ex. Another thing to do is keep your first few conversations brief. It is another reason why texting can be more effective. Also, leave the door open for future communications, such as asking them to call you next time they are in town.

Watch the video below by Brad Browning to ensure that you get your ex to come back, no matter the situation:

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